every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I need moral support for this bender
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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