you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
