This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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