I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
