Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
