In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
