some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
