so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
