I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
