I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
