I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
