are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
