I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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