I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
