You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
