I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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