You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
