when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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