so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
