your parents love me but you hate me
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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