grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
