Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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