I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
