I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
