alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It's never too late to be topless.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
