Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
