Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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