$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
