How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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