You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
