I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
