Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I didn't notice because vodka
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
