oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
