yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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