you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
In America we eat man semen.
I am midnight drunk by noon
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Randomize
