just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
