I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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