i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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