Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
