I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
its not stalking. its research.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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