bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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