I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
