everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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