she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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