Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
