Me. At least after what I've been through.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
as a side note pls kill me
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
