Swine flu. Run for my life!
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
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