i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
