Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
