We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
