i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
