Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
